Cleaning Instructions

For the “Non Cleaner”

Today I’m going to Lowe’s to try to return the stapler that never worked. First I have to find the receipt. BUT! Before any of that, I’m going to try to deep clean the bedroom. This involves getting on my hands and knees with the microfiber dust mop and getting under the bed. Not sure how motivated I’m feeling, but there’s no time like the present for unpleasant but ultimately beneficial jobs (I’ve been waking up congested and I think the dust is a factor). A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, even if it isn’t in her natural inclination.

That said, I do not get these cleaning kicks frequently, as most of you who’ve known me for a while can attest to. Here I’ve got my usual regimen, “Cleaning for the Non Cleaner.”

• Pump up the jam. I usually just put my iPod on shuffle so I have a neverending stream of music. Including music I probably wouldn’t admit I listen to otherwise.
• Quick top-to-bottom. I clear off surfaces (stick clutter somewhere like the couch or bed) and give them a quick dust with some furniture spray and a rub with an old t-shirt. I used to use a swiffer but noticed lots of dust resettling. This really takes less time than you think.
• Sort through the clutter on the couch or bed, realize that half of it is old mail, and toss it. Put books away, hang clothes up, etc. If it goes back on the surfaces I just dusted, I give it a quick swipe with my sleeve or rub it on my pants to make sure I don’t put more dust back on the bedside table/shelf/whatever.
• Sweep. I do this last so that the dust I rearranged with items 2 and 3 has settled on the floor and gets swept up with other debris. Usually I follow up the sweep with my dust mop.

You’ll notice that nowhere here did I use water or cleaning agents. That’s because it’s a lot of work and only gets done around here once a season. Which is fine, in my personal opinion, as long as the dusting/sweeping regimen gets done fairly regularly. Since I have wood floors, this method works in every single room but the bathroom. Nice.

You wanna know another one of my tricks? Get the husband to clean the bathroom on Saturdays when I’m at work and he’s home. SCORE!