Author: Staci

It’s not something I do normally, get deep and philosophical on this blog. Sure, sometimes I agonize over sort-of-big decisions (like, “should I get a new apartment?“) but things like that don’t mean much in the long run.

Yesterday’s pot on Girl’s Gone Child entitled “Be Your Own Best Friend” really inspired me. I’ve spent a lot of time in the past couple years thinking about what it means to befriend yourself. I distinctly remember sitting at work two years ago reading an article about bullying and realizing that for my formative years, I was my own worst bully.

Your skin is a disaster. You’re not creative enough. You are only a “second-string” friend. Your teachers probably don’t even remember who you are. Your taste in music isn’t cutting-edge enough. You don’t care about the world’s problems enough.

I don’t really remember when I came up with the title for my blog, My Friend Staci, and for a long time I’ve gone back and forth between thinking it’s brilliant (when other people use the title when talking about me/the blog, it’s brilliant) or stupid (it’s a bit clunky, and when I talk about it or refer to it, it’s kind of awkward).  In a moment of clarity I realized, though, that I can and should be my own friend, and while it doesn’t make it any less awkward to have my own name in my blog title, I’ve decided that I do like it after all.

What do you do for your friends? Support them, encourage them, compliment them, give them advice, spend time with them… shouldn’t these be things we do for ourselves regularly as part of our self-care?

Your sales numbers were really good today. I think that recipe you tried from Bon Appetit will turn out better next time. I like your shoes. Go ahead and stay in on Friday night, you could use the rest. You have good taste in books. You look nice today.

When you think about it… is my blog really me? In some ways, yes, but in other ways, no. I share my home here, when my camera cooperates. I share things I’m into, and what I’m thinking. If you follow me on social media you get even more tidbits; I love sharing pictures on instagram or thoughts on twitter. What you don’t see is the mess in my bedroom closet (it’s like a game of Tetris in there) unless I decide to let you see it. You don’t see how many stalemates my husband and I get into about who took the dog down three flights of stairs last time… and therefore who should take the dog out at 2 am. You don’t see my missteps unless I want you to. So my blog is my best me.

Sometimes I feel like there are two of me–the optimist and the pessimist. It has taken years of practice to let the optimist win out the majority of the time. The pessimist is still there but I’m learning that she keeps me realistic but doesn’t have to hold me back. The optimist is My Friend, who encourages me to keep going even though I only blog once a week these days. Who knows that tech issues are annoying but I should just keep pushing through anyway, and who reminds me to take a personal day when I have a blog post I “need” to be working  on but I just worked five long days on my feet at my retail job.

I hope this post resonates with a few of you. At some point, I felt like I was just rambling, and this little essay of sorts does not in any way fit the “beginning, middle, end” English class formula. It’s more like beginning, middle, and ellipsis…..

I like to try to be, whenever possible, My Friend, Staci. Have any thoughts? Are you a friend of yourself or a bully to yourself?